Day 21

Today is the final day of my fast. I spent the majority of the day traveling to a funeral. Funerals make me so reflective, and even though I didn't really know the man, I was so touched by the service. People stood and told stories, there was a photo slide show, and all the family was around. I could tell he was very well loved and thought of highly. In a funny way, it reminded me that perfection is unnecessary. When your life is over, people don't talk about how badly you kept up with the laundry or how cluttered your car was. They pick the best, most wonderful parts of you, and to those they hang on. I get down on myself for the silliest things. :( It's time to realize that perfection is overrated. 

-R

Days 19 and 20

In my bible reading, I started the book of Esther yesterday. Esther is one if my very favorite books of the bible. Not only is there a heroine, but also justice is served and there's a very happy ending for the good guys. Today, I was reading about how Haman was so puffed up and how he hated the Jews. He was so sure of himself that he had a sharpened pole erected in his own front yard to have Mordachai impaled upon! Even when his family and friends warned him that no good would come to someone who tried to harm God's people, he refused to back down, and it ultimately lead to his demise. God's people will go forward and flourish no matter who or what tries to stand in the way. We can be sure that God's got our backs. That's actually really cool. 

Today, I received another money surprise! Thank you, Jesus!! 

Tomorrow, my husband and I are traveling to Clinton, OK. His best friend's dad passed away this week. A great man has gone to be with Jesus! Pray for safe travels. Love you all! 

-R

Days 14-18

I am so sorry! I have been terrible about posting the last few days and no one has even been sick!
Big Sister was here this weekend and we all had a great time together. My husband won a guided duck hunt back in the fall and went duck hunting on Saturday. He almost got the limit! He did a great job for his first time out. I just hope we all like duck meat! Also on Saturday, Big Sister and Brother spent the day with Meme, their aunt, and cousins. They seemed to have a fun day. Baby Girl and I were able to spend the day together (which doesn't happen very often!). We went to the bank and the grocery store, and snuggled on the couch. :) Monday we were all off work and school, so we visited Great-Granny and grabbed some geocaches.

Here are some pictures from the weekend: 

I hope you are having a good week so far. Yesterday was Day 17, and Baby Girl's first day back at Grandma's this year. That is an answer to prayer, folks! In late September, my grandma began having some health issues. She became very dizzy and sick to her stomach. After tests and blood work, her doctor concluded that she just had a severe case of vertigo. She was able to recover, and in late October, she began watching our baby girl again. Over Christmas, she had two more spells of vertigo, and when it was time to go back to school, Grandpa said it wasn't a good idea for Baby Girl to come back. For two weeks more, she didn't go to Grandma's. All this time, we have been praying, not only for complete healing, but also for answers about this "vertigo" and how to manage it. Last week, Grandma visited a new doctor, a neurologist. He is very thorough and Grandma likes him very much. On Monday, she went in for another test. Hopefully this test will reveal something the others have missed. Until then, we are thankful that Grandma is feeling well enough to watch our baby.

Today is Day 18 and I don't know if I've ever wanted chocolate so much in my life. Ha! My brother said something Sunday that I want to repeat: Major props to Jesus for fasting for 40 days. That has got to be tough.

I'm adding "Wisdom for Parenting" to my list of prayers. Sometimes I just don't know if I'm doing it right. I try to be a Godly momma and teach my kids the right ways, but sometimes I feel defeated or frustrated or just plain wrong. But I've read a quote that goes something like "Behind every great kid is a mom who thinks she's doing it wrong." I bet our kids will turn out great. I just want to do my best.

We are also praying for doors to open in the form of a new job for my husband. Maybe I'm the only one praying for that. Haha. No, seriously...he needs a new job. He needs one with sick leave and better benefits. He needs one where he is not working on Saturdays. He needs one where he doesn't work holidays.

Hope you're all doing well. I'll try to update each day until the fast is officially over. I am so excited to see what God does in my life and my family this year. I'm expectant!!

-R

Days 11, 12, and 13

Well, that check came at the perfect time.  On Wednesday we had to take our kids to the doctor.  Baby girl was fine...just a cold.  Big brother, though, had some kind of rhino-virus.  He had fever for several days.  He had fever this morning, even, but around 2pm I checked and he was fever-free!  I checked again around 8pm...fever-free!  I'm so glad!  He still has a runny nose, but he isn't lethargic and he's eating again!  I'm so thankful it wasn't flu.  The doctor said that this year many children are getting a mild form of flu, even if they've been vaccinated.  We prayed for him right in the doctor's office before they came in to swab for it.  He did, however, have to miss school the rest of the week.  His dad stayed with him for two days and I took off today.  It's not so easy for a teacher to take off, but I'm glad I am able to if need be.  We had a good day playing and watching movies.  My favorite thing to be is a momma!

My sweet girl!

All that to say that I didn't forget about blogging the last few days; I've just been busy wiping noses.  These last few days, I've just been praying for peace.  For some reason I've been feeling a lot of turmoil.  There are several things bothering me.  One of them is that I don't understand what is so "affordable" about the Affordable Care Act.  My husband's deductible is now $3000.  My insurance now costs me $100/month more than it did last year, and his is $200/month more.  Is it just affordable for certain people?...because I'm not seeing any benefits from it at this time. Besides that, there are things going on every day that battle for my attention.  Some things I can control, others I can't.  In my bible reading plan, this week I read Luke 21.  It really stood out to me because there is so much going on, not only in me but also in our world. 
Luke 21:9 "And when you hear of wars and insurrections, don't panic. Yes, these things must take place first, but the end won't follow immediately."
I think these things are signs to us that the Jesus is coming.  He reminds us not to panic because we know these things have to take place in order to get us to Heaven.
Tonight I'm meditating on this verse:
John 16:33  "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."
In this chapter, Jesus is trying to tell the disciples that He will be leaving them soon and that they will be scattered.  He's trying to give them a heads up, but the disciples were honestly kinda goofy.  A lot of things Jesus told them they didn't understand and it doesn't seem like they spent a lot of time trying to understand.  Sometimes I'm just like the disciples; kinda goofy and not spending enough time trying to understand stuff Jesus tells me.  Look at John 16:33 again.  It says right there that there is no way out of trials and sorrows on earth.  But then, there's HOPE..."I have overcome the world."  Man, why do I spend so much energy on some of the stuff I do??  The same power that was in Jesus is in me.  I can overcome the world too.  I don't have to be afraid or doubt or have turmoil unless I choose to let my mind go in those directions.  I know it isn't easy to trust and have peace when it seems like things around you are all going wrong, but it is possible.  So today I will choose trust and peace because they make it a lot easier to sleep at night than fear and doubt. 

-R

Days 9 and 10

Hope. 

Hope is a word that has been stirring in my heart for some time now. There's a phrase I love from a worship song that is now a few years old. The line says, "Let hope rise. Darkness trembles in Your holy light." Ever since the first time I heard that song, that has resonated with me. Let hope rise. Three simple words, but so powerful. No matter what we are going through, there is always hope. And, if we know Him, Jesus is the blessed hope for which we wait!

So when your boss comes down on you, let hope rise.

When you've got too much month left at the end of your money, let hope rise. 

When you've hit the bottom and there's nothing left to hold on to, let hope rise.

When your class of fifth graders is so far behind that you don't know how you'll ever catch them up, and state testing is coming and you feel like you're on a ship that you know is sinking but there's nothing you can do about it, let hope rise. 

Hope of tomorrow and hope of fresh starts. Hope of something better just beyond this current circumstance. 

There is always hope.

I began typing this last night and never had a chance to finish. Last night, before something I had been hoping for arrived. 

I told you that I am praying for financial miracles during this fast, (and this week has been as thin as wall paper around here...). Michael came home from running some errands with his dad to find a check in the mail. Not a check we were expecting, either. It was from the hospital, with "Overpayment" as the description. I just can't chock that up to coincidence, people! And while I was surprised by where it came from, I'm not surprised it came. God is faithful. When Michael sent me a text with a photo of the check sum, I just kind of thought, "Oh! There you are! I knew you would be here!" 

Trust me. God cares for His people. He sees our deepest needs and knows how to meet them at just the right time. Hold on to hope. Love you!!

-R

PS: My son was running a fever at daycare today, and baby girl is coughing quite a bit. Please remember them when you pray. 

Also, my friend at work has a brother who fell and broke his neck right before Christmas. He is partially paralyzed, but some of his feeling is coming back!! Please pray that his body is restored to health! He has been through a lot this year. 

Day 8

Today was a great day in church. Our pastor was out of town so my husband got the chance to preach. He did such a phenomenal job (and I'm not just saying that!). I am very proud of him. 

It's been over a week now since I've logged in to Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter because of the social media portion of our fast. I've probably missed a lot from my friends, but it feels like I've gained a lot as well. I've gained some freedom from my phone, believe it or not. I don't have it glued to myself all the time. I've realized it's ok to leave it in the bedroom or in my purse or in the van. I've gained a week's worth of dinners at the table without scrolling my phone between bites or missing out on the funny things my kids are saying and doing. I've found time to do things I thought I couldn't fit in. Lastly, I've had more meaningful conversations with people than I ever could in a post or tweet. When the 21 days are over, I will go back to those social media sites, but even after just one week, I can see how easy it was for them to take over more of my life than I should've been willing to give. Social media is not bad or sinful or wrong in and of itself, but if we are not careful, we can wind up giving it more time than we give those we love. Time to prioritize. 

-R

PS: This weekend has been such a big one for baby girl!! She has been crawiling all over, practicing pulling up on everything, and she cut her first tooth!! It's so exciting to watch kids grow! Here are some photos from today. 

Sissy loves her American Girl doll, Saige.

Baby girl was creeping down the altar!

Sweet brother!!

Big, precious smile!

Days 6 and 7

Yesterday (Day 6) was a much better day for me. I'm still having many struggles at work with certain students, but they didn't affect me the same way yesterday. 

Yesterday was also my sweet husband's birthday. We broke our food fast to celebrate. The first two or three years we were married, we did first-of-the-year fasts and we were always fasting on his birthday. The last couple of years we have allowed ourselves to break the fast so we could celebrate. Last night we had our families over for a chicken dinner. It was a lot of fun. There are ten kids under the age of twelve between our two families right now, and eight of them are under seven! It was loud at our house last night. :) My husband hadn't asked for anything in particular for his birthday, but each gift he received was perfect for him! Our families know him well! Isn't he handsome??

In the beginning of the fast, I mentioned that I would reflect on the week before I decided whether to continue with the food portion of the fast or if I felt it was complete. I've decided to go on with part of it. I'm keeping away from candy/sweets. 

Today (Day 7) has been a gorgeous, sunny day. I'm so glad. The gray days are killer. I wouldn't survive in Alaska! 

I got a chance to meet up with an old friend today. We talked for a long time about some things that are very tragic and devastating, that seem to be epidemics: infidelity and failed/failing marriages. The longer I am married, the more I see them. Today I have been praying over my marriage and the marriages of my family members and friends. I want to be completely committed to my husband and I want to have faith to know for certain that he will be committed to me. I should NEVER have to call that into question, and neither should he. I think our kids deserve to have parents who are committed to one another through good times and bad. I know the bads can be REALLY bad, but I also know that we humans CAN do just about anything if it's for something we WANT. What's that quote...? "If you want to do something you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse." I know there are circumstances that are beyond our control sometimes, and I don't claim to have a perfect marriage. I just think we need to work harder at guarding our marriages. No one goes into a marriage expecting to cheat, or be cheated on, or for it to end for any reason. If someone did, they'd be considered one messed up individual. People go into marriage with forever in mind, fully intending to be in love for life. We must protect that intention by sacrificing of ourselves for our spouses. I've heard it said that marriage is not 50/50...it's 100/100. Both spouses have to be 100% committed 100% of the time. 

I'd like to encourage you to help me pray for marriages all around us, for love and laughter and forgiveness, and understanding and wisdom and patience and all the things it takes to last for decades. Let's reverse the epidemic. 

Day 5, Part 2

This afternoon, one of my students went to gather the things from my office mailbox. Among the mail was our daily breakfast count sheet, a catalog for classroom stuff, and a little, unsigned  note with Snoopy on it that bore this verse: "This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalms 118:24 NLT).

As you know, I wasn't having a good morning, and by the time this note got to me, I had received some bad news from my husband concerning payment for his schooling, and I had also lost my temper during class to the point that I threw my pen down. It hadn't fallen to the floor, though, like I had planned for it to in my mind. No, it bounced on two tables before finally falling on the ground. Did it bounce on the table of the student at whom I was yelling? Of course not. It bounced on the two tables in the classroom where my most respectful students sit. I was so upset that I stepped next door and told my friend that I needed a minute. I walked down the hall and I could feel hot tears burning my eyes. I tried to cut them off, but they spilled down my cheeks as I stepped into the lounge. I sat at a table in the dark wondering what in the world I was doing and how in the world a 10-year-old had just gotten the best of me. When I had composed myself, I went back. I don't know why but whether I cry three tears or a river, my face looks the same: red, puffy, ugly. I can't hide when I've been crying. Only one girl said anything, so I was glad. I walked them to art class and kept back the girls whose table had been hit by my flying pen. I apologized and they told me it was ok and hugged me. 

When I got back, I noticed the Snoopy note. At the time, I scoffed. "Sure. Rejoice. Easy for you to say, Snoopy." But as the day ended, I realized that there is ALWAYS a reason to rejoice. 

I talked to a friend tonight whose baby daughter, the same age as my own baby daughter, is battling cancer. Cancer. In a fragile, beautiful, 8-month-old body. But my friend has the greatest spirit about her, uplifting and wise. She still finds reasons to rejoice. If she can find reasons to rejoice, my goodness, I ought to be able to find some too. So I rejoice today that I have a steady, dependable job. I rejoice that I married my true partner in life and we are stronger together than apart. I rejoice for the beautiful children The Lord has given me, and for our house and our vehicles. I rejoice in stormy times because they make the sunshine even more beautiful. 

Today has been tough, but stretching isn't easy. I am just anxious to see what God does through us this year. 

-R

PS: Baby girl has been feeling better today. She crawled from the living room all the way down the hall where I was getting big brother dressed tonight. You should've seen his face! He was amazed that she crawled to come and find us. "We are in here, Sister! Come here, Sister!" :)

Day 5

Feeling sad today. I'm overwhelmed and a little scared. I can't elaborate because I don't know who is actually reading this. I know, though, that fasting can bring about a great sense of mourning. Mourning over sins, mourning over disobedience, mourning over hurt. Perhaps it's the natural reaction of my spirit. Or perhaps it's my own natural reaction to three days of gray skies. Today I've been praying for God to show himself to me in a mighty, real way. I want to experience His provision in my life and His care for me. 

I'm exhausted and hungry today. I hope no one offers me Cinnaboli. 

More to come. 

-R

Days 3 and 4

If you're following, I must apologize for not posting yesterday. I laid down next to my sweet son last night at 8:45, thinking I would get up when he fell asleep, but it seems I fell asleep as well.
Yesterday (Day 3) was the first day back to school, and the first day of my fast away from home. I must admit, it's easier to fast at home. I had someone offer me pizza and Cinnaboli that they had ordered from Mazzio's for lunch. Let me just tell you: I. LOVE. CINNABOLI. But, I didn't even look at it. I ate my salad and my apple. I had a great first day back. All my classes were chill and we had a good day. 

Today (Day 4) was a little rougher. While most of my classes were good and focused, some kids in my homeroom started slipping back to old ways, and I got so frustrated. The stress is real, people. I don't know how to make them understand that education is important. But that's a different blog for a different day. ;) 

We are hungry. Both my husband and I have said it to each other. But I think that's when you're supposed to realize how hungry your soul becomes when it is starved of God. We're going to dig our heels in and continue to press on towards Christ. 

-R

Please pray for my Baby Girl. She started with a new babysitter yesterday, so she isn't quite adjusted, and today her ear has been hurting. Thank you!

Day 2

I cannot tell you how badly I want an Oreo. 

It is day two of our 21-day fast. As I posted yesterday, I had an extra day off today. I had hoped to be very productive, but I can't say that I have been. I ended up going to the dentist in the middle of the day and not getting much of anything accomplished (aside from snuggling the baby a little). 

This morning I prayed specifically for the adult leaders of our youth group. We get a lot of credit for being the "pastors", but we could not run our ministry without the adult team. They are our Sunday school teacher, our sound and media technician, our praise and worship team. They are our cheerleaders, our helpers, our friends. We are glad to work with such great people who give their time and effort each and every week. 

Tonight I'm praying for a financial miracle. One of my big, main goals for the year is to reduce debt. We will be able to pay off an auto loan this fall, and I am so excited! Today, however, I got some news that is going to result in an extra $300 monthly expense. If this were the fall and we had that loan paid off, it wouldn't be a big deal, but it's not fall and it is kind of a big deal. I don't know how God will do it, but there's nothing I can do. I know my salary won't be changing, and I'm not willing to get a second job and miss out on time with my kids, so He's going to have to do something. Money is a struggle for me lately...I don't understand sometimes. I want God to deliver me from the "debt pit", but I wonder if He honors that kind of request when I'M THE ONE WHO PUT MYSELF IN DEBT! I feel frustrated because, if I wasn't in debt, this new $300 monthly expense wouldn't be a problem. Besides this new expense, at the dentist I learned that I need two crowns. I don't know if you've ever had a crown, but those babies aren't cheap. I'm just struggling tonight. I know God's the biggest, and I'm trying to lean on Him. I need Him to help me believe and help me to trust Him. He can do anything. 

"With man this may seem impossible, but with God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE." Matthew 19:26

-R

Day 1

Today has been the first day of a 21-day fast for my husband, Michael, and me. We have disconnected from social media, and have selected only to eat vegetables, fruits, legumes, and fruit juices. 

On this first day, I have been praying for our youth group. My husband is a student pastor at a small church in east Broken Arrow. We have been at our church for nearly two years. Over this time, there have been ups sand downs, but it sometimes feels like mostly downs. Much of that feeling has been due to bad communication and poor planning on our part. Michael and I both work full-time jobs aside from what we do at church, so planning has been tricky. Today we got a surprise day off from church because of bad weather, so we put the time to good use. We sat down together and planned out youth events for the year. I am so relieved by all we wrote down today. I know that writing it down doesn't get it done, but it's a huge step in the right direction. 

This year, we want to see our youth group GROW. I do mean that in a numerical sense...we've been teetering between 15 and 20 for far too long, but I also mean it in a spiritual sense. Many of our students remain stagnant and apathetic. We want them to see what God can do in their lives, and we want to see them excited about what He is doing. God is so much more than what we can ever say or teach them about Him. We are believing that they each will find a deeper, more meaningful relationship with Him this year. 

Tomorrow, I was scheduled to be back in school (I'm a teacher), but I get another surprise day off because of this awful, cold weather. I'm not sure what I'll do with it yet, but hopefully tomorrow is as productive as today has been. 

R

P.S. I should give a quick kid update too... 

When Ephram (3) woke up, he said to his sister Rayna (8 mo), "Good morning, Sister! Your ponytail wooks great!" I've been trying different things with her hair because it is getting longer. The aforementioned "ponytail" was a little Cindy-Lou-Who-esque... :)

21-Day Journey

I've had this blog for several years, but it's been 18 months or more since I've posted anything. I'm a busy, working momma...what can I say? I've decided to start blogging again, but this time I plan to be more intentional. In the past, I've posted random thoughts and ideas along the way, but now I want to write with purpose. 

2014 is just getting started, and like in many previous years, I am starting out with a fast. My husband and I are wanting this year to be a break-through year in our youth group and we have many family and personal goals as well. 

For the next 21 days, he and I will be fasting social media. (He told me blogging doesn't count because it's like writing a journal. ;D ) This is a big thing for both of us because we are very connected through social media. We put out updates and reminders to our students. To be honest, it's where I come across most of the news I know about! But we recognize that we need to unplug from it, even for just a little while. 

Another part of our fast is based around our diet. We will not be eating meat, dairy, grain, pasta, or sugar for the next 6 days. After 6 days, we are going to evaluate how far we've come and go from there. 

I will be blogging each day about my feelings/progress/epiphanies...whatever my heart is led to blog. You're welcome to come along with me for the next 21days. Who knows?? After that I might be a regular blogger! 

Above all else, I welcome your prayers. I'm believing for many things this year (hopefully things I will be able to share over the next 21 days..) and I know The Lord is strong enough. 

Rachel