Day 5

Feeling sad today. I'm overwhelmed and a little scared. I can't elaborate because I don't know who is actually reading this. I know, though, that fasting can bring about a great sense of mourning. Mourning over sins, mourning over disobedience, mourning over hurt. Perhaps it's the natural reaction of my spirit. Or perhaps it's my own natural reaction to three days of gray skies. Today I've been praying for God to show himself to me in a mighty, real way. I want to experience His provision in my life and His care for me. 

I'm exhausted and hungry today. I hope no one offers me Cinnaboli. 

More to come. 

-R

April 16

I know that today is not April 16.  In fact, April 16 with nearly a month ago!  But that date is of great significance to me.  
In 1998, April 16 began to be important to me.  My little sister was born on that date.  I was 14, in the 8th grade.  I already had three younger brothers, and I had wanted a sister for as long as I could remember.  
It wasn't until 2007 that another important event happened on April 16.  My husband, who I had been dating for just a couple of weeks, kissed me for the first time.  After he kissed me, I said, "This changes everything," and it did. 
On April 16, 2010, my doctor confirmed a pregnancy that had taken more than 8 months to happen.  I was beyond happy.  
And this year, 2012, April 16 has become significant once again.  
This year on that date, the District Youth Director of the Assemblies of God of Oklahoma called Michael with a lead on a youth pastor position.  If you know my husband, you know without a doubt that he is a youth pastor through and through.  He has a heart for students and a passion to see them hungry for a relationship with God.  We have served as volunteers in youth departments, separately and as a couple, for years.  We had the incredible opportunity about three years ago to serve as interim youth pastors while our church was searching.  That opportunity fueled his desire even more for a life of ministry.  So, after that position was permanently filled in 2010, he began looking and applying for positions.  It seemed that none of the positions was a good fit for us.  Michael wasn't working a full-time job at the time, so we needed a full-time youth pastor spot.  Many of the open spots were part-time or no pay at all.  We had a baby on the way and could not make it on part-time or no pay.  Others that were full-time were very far from home.  We didn't want to move any further away from Kamryn.  Michael decided to take a secular full-time job, and the desire for a ministry position went on the back-burner.  When he first took the job, he was on the midnight shift.  It was no fun.  He was on that shift for a year before a new shift opened up.  He went to days, but worked Sunday through Wednesday.  It was good for our family, but bad for our potential ministry.  No church wants to hire a youth pastor who works on Sundays.  He tried to get his schedule changed many times to be off on Sundays, but it just didn't work out.  We had all but given up on a ministry job.  Michael was no longer sending out resumes, no longer making phone calls.  But he was not fulfilled. 
Then, the DYD called.
At first, Michael was nervous about contacting the pastor at New Bethel Assembly.  He sent a quick email, telling about himself and his interest in the ministry.  After a whirlwind series of emails, phone calls, and recommendations, we were meeting the church board a week later!  It felt so comfortable, like we were where we belonged.  The boss at Michael's full-time job allowed him to work the opposite shift, allowing him to be off work on Sundays.  Everything just seemed to fall into place.  Michael accepted the position, and we have now begun our new ministry journey.  
We have been at New Bethel for about a month.  Our teenagers are gearing up for youth camp this summer.  We are very excited to be where we are, and we are looking forward to finding out just what the Lord has in store.  
Who knows what the next April 16 will bring?


You can keep up with our new ministry by "Liking" us on Facebook: MomentumBA.  You can also join our Facebook group page: Momentum Youth Ministries (facebook.com/momentumba).  
Lastly, follow our tweets: @momentumba.  
If you need more information, contact momentumnba.pastor@gmail.com.  

Sleepless

I'm not one who normally has trouble sleeping.
Nope. Generally when my head hits the pillow, I'm gone. But tonight, I can't sleep.
In just a few short weeks, my baby will have his first birthday. I cannot believe how quickly a year can fly! I remember being so nervous about holding him properly...it's like it just came to me, like a second nature, and we were instantly in love.
From that time, the moment when I first held my newborn son in my arms, I was completely changed.
This year has been one of absolute wonder. When I reflect, I see the Lord's hand in so many places. Ephram was a complete miracle from the beginning. We were told early in my pregnancy that I had miscarried and that we would not deliver a baby in December. Then, he came; 9 pounds and 3 ounces of amazing.
The next miracle of the year was the purchase of our house. When I went on maternity leave, I had plenty of days to take off for 12 weeks. I also had short-term disability insurance that paid me for the time I was off. We were able to put money down on our beautiful new home and pay the fees. The sellers of the home paid all the closing costs. It, of course, doesn't end with the purchase of the house. The sellers also offered to pay for a home warranty for the first year. In the first month and a half that we owned the house, we had to use it twice! Praise God we had it!
The third miracle happened when Michael was able to leave the midnight shift to work days! That was such a blessing!! I had been the only one on overnight duty 4 days a week for 8 months! Since he changed shifts, he is not as tired and is able to spend much more time with us. One pitfall is that he works Sundays, so he misses church with us.
The last major miracle I will mention is that I have been fortunate enough this year to have an incredible class of fifth graders. They are the best students I've had in my 6-year teaching career.
There have been so many other exciting things...Kamryn started gymnastics, Ephram has gone from a eat-sleep-poop baby to a crawl-all-over-the-universe toddler...it's hard to settle on the four most important, but I think they help tell our story best because they are the things of the most importance.
So this is all running through my head, keeping me from sleep because I could never be thankful enough. And when December 21 rolls around and I celebrate the birth of my sweet baby, I don't know if I'll laugh or cry. :)

baby steps

my son is nine weeks old today.

it's so hard to believe that two whole months have already passed! it seems like just last week i was struggling to bend over my pregnant belly to tie my shoes... but, no. he's growing and changing all the time. it is absolutely incredible to watch and be a part.

at two weeks, he smiled for the first time and started to focus on objects in front of his face. now he's beginning to reach for the things he's focusing on. last night, he was playing in his swing while michael and i ate dinner. michael said, "look! he's grabbing his tray!" sure enough, his little fingers were tightly grasping the tray on the swing. my heart could've burst! and then i thought, 'how silly...he's grasping the tray, not doing anything really spectacular...'

actually, though, it was spectacular.

its spectacular to think that the Lord wired our brains to learn to do things exactly when we are ready. some things don't even have to be learned; we do them instinctively. ephram has eaten from the very beginning of his life, but no one taught him to suck.

i believe it is the same for all people who follow Christ. no one taught us to trust Him, but our instincts tell us we can. and i tend to think He looks at us the way i was looking at e last night. He watches us grow and develop and take those essential "baby steps" in Him to become mature in Him. He sees us do something that may seem insignificant, but He bursts with pride as He says, "look, Father! she's grabbing the tray! she gets it! she's growing!"

may we never cease to grow, and may we never despise baby steps.

back on the blog-wagon

so, it's been a year and a half since i have written anything. i didn't mean for it to be that long, but i guess i've been busy.

2010 was a big year for michael and me. we started january with a 21-day fast. our goal was to cleanse our bodies from sugar, caffeine, and other things that we don't need to live. at the same time, we were praying for some huge needs in our lives. michael had been out of a job for three months and his severance was quickly coming to an end. we had been trying for a baby since late july with no hope in sight. it was becoming clear that the youth department at our church was not big enough for two youth pastor positions, one of which michael had been filling part-time since april. there was much to pray about. the three week fast was difficult, but we did it, and i truly believe it set the stage for some great things to happen for the rest of the year. in april, we found out we were going to have a baby. after working a couple of small jobs, michael landed an excellent position at a successful communications company downtown in october. he was laid off from the part-time position at the church, but it didn't affect our family financially because of the new job with which God had blessed him. our baby boy was born healthy and whole in december.

now, here we stand, on the front edge of 2011. we began the year with a different fast. we each fasted for two weeks, but we fasted different things.

this year, michael is on a personal journey, seeking out who Jesus actually was and is. he feels like the Jesus we speak about today is often someone we have conjured up in our minds, one who fits our lifestyle and mold. he is spending a great deal of time studying and researching how the Jesus we read about in the bible did things, and is trying to pattern his life after that.

my goal is to spend more time in the word, finding out what the Lord wants my next steps to be. i feel like all the goals i had for my life have been achieved. i have graduated high school, earned a college degree, landed a job in a teaching position, completed courses in biblical studies, married the love of my life, and given birth to 9lb 3oz of perfection. and i can't help but wornder, "what now?" have i just been living for myself? were my goals truly HIS goals? what can i do to find His heart, his passion for my life?

so far this year, i've read about prayer, obedience, and courage in the bible. i feel like i'm becoming stronger with every line i read. i definitely still have my struggles, but i'm gaining strength.

i'm not sure how this year could be better than the last...maybe michael will be switched to the day shift... no matter what, i know the Lord has tremendous plans for me, for us.

"and as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. so we will not be afraid on the day of judgement, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world." i john 4:17

to be bilingual

in the summer of 2003, i was fortunate enough to make a trip to cuenca, ecuador for missions. i had taken spanish in school, but that summer, i took some extra conversational language classes. i really like spanish and learning about hispanic culture. i want to learn more spanish, but who knows if i actually ever will. i know many people say french is the most beautiful of the languages, but i think spanish is just as pretty. especially when it is lifted up in praise to Jesus. :)

we have had a hispanic congregation meeting in our building for years now and the people of the congregation have recently become able to purchase a building of their own. it is a very exciting time! this past sunday, we had a combined english/spanish service at our church. the combined service was a celebration of sorts, complete with a tamale meal afterwards.

thinking of the two instances, one thing is certain: our God is infathomable. i remember that summer in ecuador...it was the first time i had ever been on an airplane, and i remember thinking just how vast and large the world is. i mean, i had known that the world is big, but the trip really put that into perspective for me. i had never thought of it before, but i remember thinking that at the very same time we were worshipping in ecuador, there were people back at home in oklahoma worshipping too. and that made such an impact on me. i mean, there are things you know in your head, and then there are things you learn with your heart and that was one of them. the same was true on sunday. we did songs in english and in spanish, some switching back and forth between the two languages, and it was so incredible to me that no matter what language we sing in, God is glorified and exhalted and He honestly doesn't care. the feeling of being in a service like that is electric. between the two congregations, i'm certain there were a fair share of differences, but the most important thing was the one we share in common: Christ.